32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
