4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
