so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
