well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
