when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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