just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
