yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
