I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
