Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
