haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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