I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Let's paint friendship bongs
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
