Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
