The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
