I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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