I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
