nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
