(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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