I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
