Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm passing your future prison.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
