hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
PANTIES FOUND
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