They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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