I hate all girls vehemently.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
