he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
the liver wants what the liver wants
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
