it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
