don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I love you. Go after that dick
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