you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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