I'm drive I can fine osifer
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
