Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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