I swear she didn't look like that last week.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
