We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
