In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
