Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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