when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
