Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize