all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
