Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
