fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
