Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
