Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
