i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
