I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
