Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
