did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
