i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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