I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
