can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
