It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
