sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
