I like my sex mixed with concussions.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
