did you get engaged???
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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