Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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