Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
