i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
