I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
