The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Success! We fucked roommates!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
