i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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