And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I believe in your delicious
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
