The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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